A Woman Called Clown

Innocence

“Look momma, a clown,” commented the little girl as she tugged on her mother’s shirt.

Her mother glanced up, then darted her eyes back down at her daughter.

“Y— Yes dear.”

“Mommy, she is pretty, isn’t she?” Without looking her mother nodded. She shifted slightly at the jostle as the train crossed a highway. “Why are you scared mommy? Is it her eyebrows? She has mighty large eyebrows. Why do you have such large eyebrows?” asked the girl turning to the clown.

The clown smiled at her. You brought up one hand, and then another, and then with your hands flattened and pinkies touching, hid behind your hands. You held your hands still, but your shoulders started to roll, and then your torso waved with them. Still yet your face was completely obscured.

“Honey, ple—“

“Mommy, I can still see her hair.” She turned to the clown. “I know you aren’t disappearing. You want to know why? Do you? Its because of your rainbow hair. Are you dancing to a beat? I don’t see any earbuds in your ears…” Music slowly turned from the silence to a low murmur. The little girl clapped her hands and her mother smiled at her with a strained look. The little girl giggled. “Your pigtails are bouncing now. Why didn’t you put all of your hair in the pigtails?” There was a quick peek between your pinkies as your hands parted, and then pinkies clapped back together. The little girl squealed. “I seen your eyes!”

The clown’s left hand then darted down, touched your cheekbone and then darted back up to the other hand. Then your right did the same, exposing your single eye as the other was covered by your other hand. Back and forth your hands danced like this until they stopped again, then your red nose poked through your hands. The clown leaned down jutting it out at the girl while keeping your hands touching top of pinkies and bottom of her palms’ heels. The little girl’s hand jerked out to her mother’s horror, but before her mother snatched her hand, there was a squeak as she pinched the nose. The clown fell back as if startled. your hands were now braced on the bench on either side of yourself. You blinked furiously at the little girl, then went crosseyed as you looked down at your own nose. You became very serious as you slowly reached for your own nose with both hands, and then your one hand hesitated, and then darted for the nose, squeezed it, and the clown tensed, squeezing your eyes closed. Nothing happened. You opened your eyes and blinked. You looked at the little girl, and then went cross eyed again. You then tentatively squeezed Your nose again, nothing. You did it again and again while the little girl giggled, yet nothing.

The mother at this point was smiling besides herself and watching the clown. THe clown then stuck out your tongue, leaned forward with your own hands braced on your own hips, and then gave the little girl raspberries. THe little girl’s hand jutted out, and there was a honk. The clown was thrown against the back of your own seat. You blinked at the little girl, and then tentatively leaned forward again, your hands held delicately out at your sides. The little girl was riotus with laughter. She paused to lean forward again and squeeze the nose.

Again the clown slammed haphazardly against your own benche’s back. Sprawled aboaut, blinking in confusion. You went crosseyed, pinched your own nose, poked it, smacked it, and then face palmed yourself.

As you lay there again sprawled about form the impact, you got an idea and threw up a finger, indicating it. You leaned forward as the train rocked and buckled. You staired intently at the little girl.

“It won’t work on me… I don’t have a clown nose…” protested the little girl amid her laughter.

Her mother watched with mirth now glinting about her eyes. The clown still reached, paused, then tentatively proceeded. She hesitated and then snatched the girls nose gently squeezing.

There was a shrill squeal of laughter from the little gurl, but then she caught herself mid-laughter as there was a squeak. She looked at the clown in wonder. Excitement widenedd the clown’s eyes and drew a massive smile across your face. Again you squeazed, and again there was a squeak. The little girl began clapping her hands excitedly. Squeak, squeak, squeak went the little girls nose.

The clown sat back and then thought hard for a moment, before you then reached for your own red nose again and squeazed it. Nothing. You had a perplexed expression and uncrossed your leg and tapped your very large shoe on the floor in thought. Again you had an idea, and leaned forward. The little girl now lightly giggling, reached forward, hardly holding in a new bought of laughter as it kept bursting past her own guard. Still she held it in and then squeezed the nose. Squeak.

The clown threw up your hands, and then little girl fell backward in gleeful laughter. Her mother gave her own giggle, then jumped back with startled wide eyes. The clown was leaned forward, looking expectantly at them both with an index finger held up, wavering before them. And then the clown reached within your coat, wrestled for a moment, and then pulled out a full, two-yard-long balloon. SHook your head, and threw it at the little girl who giggled. A hammar game out to the mother’s wide eyes with its five-foot handle and nearly foot in diameter head. You dropped it with a heavy thunk, pulled out a stuffed puppy, and then even pulled out a dove. You handed it to the girl, paused, opened the train’s window, peered out, and then motoined at the little girl. She looked at the clown curiously but her mother moved out of her way. The clown motioned that the little girl was to throw the stuffed dove out the window, with flattened hands, and then part them dramatically.

The little girl did this, and then screamed a squeal as soon as the dove was outside the window its wings burst open and a live, wild dove went flying for the trees.

The clown sat back down and gave a momento finger. A second later as the little girl got settled next to her mother and the mother looked expectantly at the clown, you found it. You jerked your hands free of your coat and held the twirled horn proudly. You bounced your large eyebrows at the little girl, and then turned your face sideways, nodding, ‘Oh Yeah…’ to the little girl and then slowly reached for your own red nose, while the horn was held on the side of your face away from the little girl. You squeazed your nose, and a shrill squeak could be heard. The little girl threw herself back in laughter, and the clown began dancing proudly about in your seat honking and squeaking your nose.

“Its not your nose! Its the horn!” shouted the little girl with a shaking hand indicating something past the clown’s head. The clown gave her a worried eye out of the corner of yours, and vehemently shook your head, and steadied yourself proudly, and began honking your own nose. “Yes it is! I seen it! You were proud of it!” The clown slowly turned towards her to find the clown was actually poking her finger in the center of the dot that centered her cheek, while the other hand was still honking her nose. The little girl looked at her confused. “I know you had a horn. You held it up proudly and honked. It.” The clown shook your head and indicated at the little girl. “I don’t have it!” denied the little girl indignantly. The clown leaned forward vegementely nodding your head, your pigtails flopping about even as your hair bounced sporadicallly. “Nuh uh!” shouted the little girl leaning forward. Now the clown’s face became indignant. And you nodded hard. “No I do not! I don’t take what is not mine! That’s stealing!” The clown leaned back and raised a brow, tapping your foot and pointed at the little girl’s jacket. The mother looked curiously, and the little girl lifted up her jacket and shook it with a look at the clown that read, ‘I told you so, duh…’ The mother’s face fell at the horn not being there. The clown was not disueaded. You leaned forward and reached around the back of the little girl, acted like she was pulling something from the cloth itself, and then pulled out the horn, before dramatically flapping your flattened hand, idnicating the horn. The little girl’s eyes went wide in wonder, but then her eyes began to water. “I don’t like this! I don’t steal!”

The clown looked from the little girl back to her mother as the mother coddled her child who was now balling in her lap. THe clown blinked with true confusion, and then leaned forward and honked the horn at the little girl. The little girl flinched, and her blubber turned to a wail. The clown shirked backward as if struck at. You looked at the mother with apology strewn about your eyes. THe mother nodded at you in acceptance.

The clown leaned foward and then a rainbow dusted white glove rubbed the little girl’s back along with the mother’s hand.

“I’m sorry. I truly am. I didn’t think you stole it. I put it there.”

“No you didn’t” wailed the little girl.

“Yes I did.”

“No! You only reached in once and got it out. You never reached into my coat and put it there.”

“Yes I did,” insisted the clown in your soft voice.

“How?!” asked a disbelieving child, but who had started to sit up and rubbed the tears and snot from her face.

“Magic…” whispered the clown as you waved your fingers in the girl’s face.

“Nuh uh… there is no such thing…”

“Oh yes there is. I could even show you by teleporting something of yours…”

Even mother looked intrigued by this. The little girl’s eyes narrowed disbelieving, but the clown leaned away, holding up your index finger, and then thought heavily before reaching back into your hair as it draped over your shoulders and back. You grabbed something and your eyes lit up. You smiled as you had something. You tugged, looked puzzled at the little girl. Tugged again. Huffed. And tugged again, but this time you groaned with the effort as you pulled hard.

Your hand flung from your hair a moment later and you slapped heavily against the back of your own seat again.

The girl looked at her lap and didn’t move even until the doll had fallen from her lap to the floor, to which she darted down, snatching her and dusted her off. She looked up at the clown in wonder.

“You have magic…” she gasped.

The clown smiled wide and then darted your eyes open with a boucnce of your brows.

“I remember this,” KimMi whispered. “This was before everything fell apart. It was actually before I began to practice real magick.”

(*Switch everything but the last dialogue to second person*)

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The above note is in the manuscript, which is why it was included here.